In all honesty and complete transparency, I am recognizing that this is going to be one of the most difficult challenges I have ever done IN MY LIFE! I am only a few days into the new year and I am already finding myself coming up against my bossy, controlling flesh and my nagging, critical tongue.
I can’t help but scream out in my head, “Why is this so difficult Lord? Why can’t I just be a sweet, submissive, spirit lead wife? Why?? Why?? Why??”
I know this is what the Lord has called me to be, the scriptures repeat these truths . . . and yet I constantly feel defeated in this area . . . like some sort of defective wife. It just feels so much like a curse to me!
And then suddenly I remember, it feels like a curse because it is one.
Way back in the beginning, the very beginning, back when it was just Adam and Eve, the two new lovebirds tasted the forbidden fruit and committed the original sin. From that sin a curse was born, a multi-faceted curse, and a segment of that curse speaks directly to wives:
“To the woman he said, I will make your pains in childbearing very severe; with painful labor you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.” Genesis 3:16
Being a mother of multiple children I can tell you the first part of that curse is in full effect. When I initially read that scripture and came to those words I was like, “Ok, check on that one! Definitely got that part of the curse.” (To completely understand I must tell you that I have given birth to twins and one of them got confused as to the appropriate exit plan and decided to come out backwards! Let me tell ya, I got the double potion on the pains of that curse during those deliveries : )
But when I read the second part of the curse I was a little perplexed by the verse, “Your desire will be for your husband”. I thought to myself (in my sarcastic voice), “Well isn’t that just so special, the wife will desire her husband.” I just wasn’t feeling the intensity of that part of the curse as I was the first part. The latter sounded sweet and endearing, and it did not resinate with me at all like the intensity of the pervious segment of the curse.
Then I looked at that verse in a different translation, and finally got my ah-ha moment. “I will sharpen the pain of your pregnancy and in pain you will give birth, and you will desire to control your husband but he will rule over you.”
And there it is, the second “check”. With that translation brought the intensity of that curse into full view, and all I could do was say, “Yup, I can check that one off too, got it, feel it, controlling flesh o’ mine in full effect!”
Ladies, this is where it all started . . . our control freak tendencies (that is if you are anything like me), our desire to want to be the boss in our marriages and of our husbands . . . it all started right here with this nasty little curse.
But don’t be completely discouraged, there is still good news. Since the Holy Spirit comes and dwells inside of every believer, we are able, through His spirit, to overcome all things in this world. “In all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.” Romans 8:37
This means that we are able to break free from the curse, and rise up to live out our lives as spirit filled wives. How do we exactly do that? Good question, and I’ll be honest, I’m still obviously in the early learning stages of that one, but what I have been noticing in just these few short days is that I have been doing two things almost nonstop . . . pausing and praying.
My natural tendency is to constantly be in action, to be quick with my words and responses, to immediately enforce MY agenda. The problem with this is that this is NOT the way of the Spirit . . . this is the way of the flesh.
The flesh is what is cursed, if I continue to respond out of my flesh I will only perpetuate the cycle of the curse. But if I pause and pray, then I connect to His Spirit, and allow Him to work through me in the moment, so that His agenda may be achieved. And trust me, His agenda is always better than ours, it always leads to blessings.
So that is the start of our challenge. We are to live by the Spirit, not by the curse of the flesh. We are to continually, throughout our day and interactions with our husbands, press pause and pray. Let’s start right now, and pray this prayer together:
Dear Lord Jesus,
My heart’s desire is to glorify you in all I do, and in all that I am. I realize that I can not do this without your help and guidance. Please assist me everyday, during every moment to first turn to you, and respond out of your Spirit. Help me to be a wife that is radiant with your love, and grace, and joy, and peace. Give me a heart like yours to love and honor my husband as you have called me to do, and may your agenda be achieved and you be glorified. In Jesus Name, Amen.
Diane Swan is a Professional Christian Counselor, Speaker and Blogger who is passionate about using her God given gifts to assist ladies in living victorious lives in Christ. She enjoys sharing true life messages that relate to the complex lives of every day women and leaves them feeling equipped to be more than conquerors in all their battles. Diane and her husband Todd are the founders of Seven Swans Ministries, an organization devoted to living out the gifts of the Spirit by offering a unique array of services to encourage, edify and expand God’s kingdom. Connect with Diane anytime: [btn text=”Facebook” tcolor=#008000 bcolor=#FFF link=”https://www.facebook.com/sevenswansministries.org?pnref=lhc”] – [btn text=”Twitter” tcolor=#008000 bcolor=#FFF link=”https://twitter.com/sevenswansmins”] – [btn text=”Pintrist” tcolor=#008000 bcolor=#FFF link=”http://www.pinterest.com/sevenswansmins/”] – [btn text=”Website” tcolor=#008000 bcolor=#FFF link=”http://sevenswansministries.org”]