I hate when I get stuck in the middle of the two m’s . . . and no I don’t mean M&M’s. Being stuck in a jar of those sweet, little, delicious dots actually sounds kinda fun. The two m’s that I am referencing however are not fun, in fact they are the opposite of fun because these two little nasties leave me stuck in a place where I can’t eat my way out. These m’s are my two greatest fears . . . the “Im afraid I’m going to miss it” and the “I’m afraid I’m going to mess it up”.
They produce so much fear and anxiety within me that when I am sandwiched in-between them I don’t even have an appetite or desire to eat, not even for chocolate (ok that might be an exaggeration because I do not need an appetite to eat chocolate, I just need to be alive and it be around me). But that’s not my point, my point is the m’s cause so much grief on my body, mind and spirit that it accomplishes what on any other day is an impossible feat and that is turning off my hunger switch! (Well, thats not really my main point, that’s actually a positive side effect to an otherwise extremely negative experience.)
My main point is when my two greatest fears surround me, when I am so afraid that if I don’t move I’m going to miss my opportunity or that if I do move I’m going to mess up God’s plan . . . the end result is always the same. I stay standing, feet stuck in that sticky fear based place. I don’t move forward and I definitely don’t enjoy the moment I’m in.
This is such a place of torment for me because my heart’s desire is to live out God’s plan and purpose in my life and yet I’m afraid to move, uncertain that the steps I make are the right ones. Have you ever felt this way? Please say yes!
Thankfully the Lord has not left me alone to face these fears on my own, and in His loving kindness He gave me a memory. A sweet memory of a time when my little ones were exactly that, wee little ones, just beginning to learn to walk. In my memory I saw how I helped my youngest daughter Ella take her first steps. How I held her hands and guided her little clumsy feet toward me. Then all too quickly she went from being a fairly containable infant to a walking, exploring toddler.
For awhile she still needed me to hold at least one of her hands while she learned the tricky steps of managing two moving feet simultaneously. As she walked I was in control of the navigation as I guided her safely around rooms in our home. Eventually she progressed and did not need to hold my hand as we walked together, except for when we went to new areas or ones that could be a danger. She then would reach for my hand and immediately start walking, knowing that I would stop her if she went too far or was heading toward a dangerous path. There I would gently guide her to where she needed to be, or I would stand and wait with her until it was safe to move forward again.
Such a powerful memory, yes? And the beauty is God revealed to me through this memory how to finally over come my fear of the m’s.
First, I saw that as my parent He is always with me. The Lord says in Hebrew 13:5 “. . . I will never leave you nor forsake you”, and there are over 70 scriptures in the bible that tells us this same truth. How I love that He repeats things because Lord knows I need to hear them again and again!
He told me next that He is the one that guides me by His hand, not me guiding Him. “The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand.” Psalm 37:23-24.
I also saw that my daughter had to be willing to move her legs and walk forward. If she just stood still holding my hand she would gain no new ground. I realized that is exactly what I had been doing. Just standing still, holding God’s hand but too afraid to take a step. “The righteous keep moving forward …” Job 17:9. Oh Lord, help us trust you and keep moving forward, just as my little Ella trusted me.
Lastly, God whispered to me that as I walk He is faithful to keep me safe while He leads me to a glorious destiny, and He will never let me enter into areas He does not want me to be. “These are the words of Him who is holy and true . . . What He opens no one can shut, and what He shuts no one can open.” Revelation 3:7.
Thank you Lord for showing me and anyone that reads this that our relationship with you is called “Our walk with God” for a reason. No more standing afraid of missing it or messing it up. Today the only thing I am standing on is the truth of these words, and I invite all of you that are reading to step out onto these truths with me, and move forward in living out our God given destiny.
Please come back on Friday and hear more about our walk with God as I share what the Lord spoke to me during the Women of Purpose Conference this past weekend.
And when you come back, find out how to win this beautiful bracelet . . .
Blessings to you Ladies and remember to step out in faith toward your glorious destiny!