Chambersburg, PA

5 Resources for the Spirit Led Wife

Agape by Marcelino Rapayla Jr., edited

Agape by Marcelino Rapayla Jr., edited

Learning to become a spirit led wife is definitely tricky business.  Over the years of being a wife and counselor, I have read and reviewed many books on marriage. (Mostly because I have been desperately trying to figure out how to do this wife thing right!) Out of all the publications I have gone through, I came up with a list of my top five resources that greatly assist the spirit led wife:

(For a quick link to any of the resources listed below, simply click on the image and you will be directed to their website.)

5 love languages 1. The Five Love Langauges by New York Times bestselling author Dr. Gary Chapman: This book is a must read for all married couples! I have utilized this resource both professionally and personally  for years and continue to be blessed by its easy references and suggestions.

“The foundation of this book guides couples in identifying, understanding, and speaking their spouse’s primary love language—quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, or physical touch.  By learning the five love languages, you and your spouse will discover your unique love languages and learn practical steps in truly loving each other. Chapters are categorized by love language for easy reference, and each one ends with specific, simple steps to express a specific language to your spouse and guide your marriage in the right direction.”

Check out the love languages assessment tool at Click on “download pdf version” for easy access and begin to learn more about how you and your mate desire to be loved. (WARNING: in my professional experience approximately 9 out of 10 guys score physical touch as their number one love language, and 9 out of 10 women don’t! As if that is a surprise to any women 😉 )

116279_1 2.The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie O’Martian: If you struggle with knowing how and what to pray about for your husband, this is the book for you!

Stormie shares from her heart her own personal struggles and victories in this area of her life. “She joyfully inspires you to develop a deeper relationship with your husband by utilizing the amazing power of prayer. This uplifting resource is packed with practical advice on praying for specific areas of your husband’s life, including his decision-making, fears, spiritual strength, role as father/leader, and faith and future.”

To date Stormie has sold over 28 million copies of her “The Power of Praying Series”. Trust me, you won’t be disappointed with this resource, because Ladies . . . transformation of you and your husband all starts with prayer!  For more information on The Power of a Praying Wife, and other resources Stormie has available, visit her website at

his needs her needs 3. His Needs, Her Needs by Dr. Willard F. Harley, Jr.: A colleague turned me on to this author years ago and I have thoroughly enjoyed his insight into the specific needs of husbands and wives.

This book helps couples identify each other’s most common needs and encourages them to invest in developing their relationship by committing to fulfill one another’s needs daily. By following some of his simple yet profound strategies, couples have the tools needed to avoid common problems that could gradually over time tear their marriage relationship apart. After reading, couples will come to realize that it is each other’s responsibility to ensure that their spouse does not lack in areas of their need.”

For a list of Dr. Willard’s needs for husbands and needs for wives visit his website at (You may have already guessed . . . our needs are completely different!)

the unveiled wife 4. The Unveiled Wife at Jennifer Smith has created a website, blog and several books designed to uplift and encourage wives. Her testimony of the disappointment, difficulties and pain she experienced in her marriage shines brightly with the healing and redeeming power of Christ. Jennifer openly discloses the distresses she battled through related to devastating obstacles that affected the intimacy in her relationship with her husband.

If you have ever gone through problems with intimacy in your marriage I highly recommend visiting Jennifer’s website, you will quickly find out that you are not alone in your battle.

Jennifer also offers an array of resources, daily devotionals, and you can sign up for email encouragement and receive specific prayers to pray over your husband and marriage. Also like her on facebook at and enjoy beautiful reminders and scriptural truths in your newsfeed.

51itXcQmFsL._SY344_BO1,204,203,200_ 5. The Respect Dare by Nina Roesner: This 40 day devotional/dare is designed to assist wives in developing a deeper connection with God and their husbands. Nina helps wives understand the power behind “unconditional respect” and how through this biblical concept marriages are transformed and wives are able to joyfully glorify God in their role as spirit led wives.

I love the truths that Nina has woven into this book and how our ultimate goal is to “live as Christ” which means to constantly be “dying to self”. Watch this short clip and get a sneak peak at what you can expect from participating in The Respect Dare:

Personally in my life, at this time, I have chosen to work through The Respect Dare.  I have come to recognize that the under current of the majority of the hurts I have inflicted on my husband have been because of my unwillingness to show him unconditional respect.  I may have constantly told my husband the sweet words of “I love you”, but my actions repeatedly told him “you don’t do anything right because you are not doing it my way”.

I know this is where the Lord wants  to do a mighty work in me . . . how about you? Do you find yourself constantly correcting and directing your husband? Are you frequently feeling frustrated because your husband is not living up to your expectations and therefore you withhold respect from him? Do you feel the Lord prompting you to pick up this book and begin to learn how to overcome these tendencies and fully represent Christ in your role as wife?

Well if your answer is yes, I would love to get you started. I have a copy of The Respect Dare that I am glad to bless one of you lovely Ladies with. If you would like a chance to win the book, just simply share this post on your Facebook page (for easy access go to Seven Swans Ministries Facebook Page and click share on this post). At the end of the week I will randomly select a winner and message you through Facebook.

My prayer for you Ladies is that you will utilize the wisdom from these resources, and that they will be a blessing to you that leads to a beautiful testimony of God’s awesome power in your lives!


“Wisdom is the principal thing; Therefore get wisdom. And in all your getting, get understanding.” Proverbs 4: 7 


This is the fourth post in a series on being spirit led wives. Please come back and continue this journey with us as we learn and understand more of what God has for his beautiful brides.


diane square Diane Swan is a Professional Christian Counselor, Speaker and Blogger who is passionate about using her God given gifts to assist ladies in living victorious lives in Christ. She enjoys sharing true life messages that relate to the complex lives of every day women and leaves them feeling equipped to be more than conquerors in all their battles. Diane and her husband Todd are the founders of Seven Swans Ministries, an organization devoted to living out the gifts of the Spirit by offering a unique array of services to encourage, edify and expand God’s kingdom. Connect with Diane anytime: [btn text=”Facebook” tcolor=#008000 bcolor=#FFF link=””] – [btn text=”Twitter” tcolor=#008000 bcolor=#FFF link=””] – [btn text=”Pintrist” tcolor=#008000 bcolor=#FFF link=””] – [btn text=”Website” tcolor=#008000 bcolor=#FFF link=””]

One thought on “5 Resources for the Spirit Led Wife”

  1. Tiffany says:

    I’ve never read the Five Love Languages, but I really need to. I’m sure it would help me love better as a wife and a mom.

    And I sure struggle with the “unconditional respect” as well. Maybe I’m too used to ordering the little ones around and I lump my husband in there sometimes too. Definitely an area to improve in.

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